Hypocrites, Change, and Understanding

I'm frustrated with people. Everyone is always looking out for number one and not really caring about all those around them. They think differently than you, which means they are automatically right. They may hear your side, but they don't listen. They don't try to understand or change.

I'm frustrated with myself. I'm starting to realize that as much as I try not to be self-centered and be accommodating towards others, I do the opposite. I get annoyed with people doing things similar to what I tend to do. I look out for number one and think about my problems all the time. I find it annoying if someone is complaining about a situation that I have had way more problems with in the past. Yet, if something's troubling me a great deal, everyone must know about it.

Then there's other stuff that people refuse to understand. They don't get that I have trouble with certain social situations, since I seem pretty normal. I'm ridiculously slow at doing basic tasks, and I just can't hurry. I'm almost always late. I often come off like I don't care, but that's just so I don't get sick from the anxiety of not being ready on time. I need to know about things in advance so I can prepare for them. It's hard for me to change up what I think my schedule is going to be like because of what someone else needs me to do. This is likely to all be caused by autism, but I've never been diagnosed and its relatively mild. However, this has caused me many problems, and I wish all of these things were easy for me, but they're not. It would be nice to just have a little understanding from others, since I can't always help it.

But how understanding am I of others? I often view others' feelings in relation to mine. I think that, since everyone loves to tease me because of my oddities and my general good-naturedness towards being the butt of a joke, everyone should be able to take jokes like I do, especially the ones who dish them out towards me. However, not everyone can, which irritates me at times, often because I am then the only one that is made fun of in the situation and then others following it. Many people get angry easily, and I find this annoying. I wouldn't get angry in their position, so why should they get angry?

Everyone is a hypocrite. We all need to change and be more understanding. That's what we're all seeking from each other, so we must start with ourselves. I just hope I can start seeing this change more in others and show it more in myself.

My Baby Dolphin

I didn't know I was pregnant...

Life is beautiful! :)

Once Upon a Time

I started watching Once Upon a Time. It's a new show on ABC about all the fairytale characters being trapped in our world by the evil queen, where there are no any happy endings, according to her anyway. There's been eight episodes so far, and since it's a TV show, the computer graphics aren't that great, but as a whole, it's really good! I got two of my roommates hooked :)

Basically... it's really cool.

In the end, though, there will be a happy ending. None of the characters realize this, excluding one, but it will come, and their joy will be tremendous. This makes me very excited for my own happily ever after. Although I live in the real world without fairy godmothers and supposedly no happy endings, I will have one. I have the gospel and the Holy Ghost to guide me. I will get married one day to the man of my dreams and have kids. I'm really excited... but I'm going to have to be patient. That's the hard part, but something worth this much isn't meant to come easily.

Oh Geez...

I'm venting a little bit, but I feel like it's still something that should be shared.

I really wish there were more good guys out there. In all honesty, I'm tired of all the good guys being taken or not interested... not that the bad guys are interested in me either. I wish there weren't any bad guys. That way, there wouldn't be any of the girls that are willing to give themselves up for them. Girls just want to be what guys want. I'm fortunate to have a high enough self esteem that I don't lower myself to that kind of standard. I stick to who I am. I would rather live alone and not be sought after than to give myself up for anything less than a good guy.

I am a daughter of God. I deserve to be treated like royalty... and so do you.

My Other Roommates

My other roommates were a little jealous... so here we go.

This is Kendra. She is my fhe mom.

Jessica is on the left. She is really smart.

This is Emily. She does not like pizza.

This is Emily (on the right), as well. She likes to work out.

My Roommate, Hayley

Hayley is the roommate that I actually share a room with, and she thoroughly enjoys reading my blog. She enjoys it so much, she commanded me to write a post, so I am writing a post all about her.

Hayley is pretty awesome. I can't think of many other ways to describe her... other than she looks like a certain elf from Lord of the Rings (who is quite attractive haha). We've been friends since fourth grade. I'm very lucky to have a friend like her. If you do not have a friend like her, I'm sorry.

The end.

Great post right?

The Little Things

My family and friends like to tease me because I can get very excited over little things. I can't help it; when life is really crappy sometimes, it's the little things that keep you together/sane. Here are some of the little things (and people that do little things) I thoroughly enjoy.

I've been craving Sweedish fish lately. They're so tasty... who wouldn't?

Chocolate, more specifically Reese's, creates so much joy in the lives of many.

I love artichokes. I wish I could eat them all the time.

I should probably stop posting pictures of food. It's pretty evident that delicious food makes me happy :P

I'm so excited for the next one! Why so serious?

My roommates are a thrill a minute :)

Alma 11:23 - O thou child of hell, why tempt ye me?
When I read this, I laughed out loud. This book is so amazing!

Messing around... it's always good to laugh until your stomach hurts.

I could list off so many little things each of my family members do that makes me happy. I will simply say that they're crazy, but I love them!

Baseball - Awesome! Diamondbacks - Awesome pawsome!

Being able to look at myself in the mirror, liking what I see and who I am.


It's the little things that give you joy when you need it the most. Don't let them pass you by because of a bad day.

Fun Stories of the Day

In American Heritage, we learn of the great ideas that run our country, particularly the ones that formed our country. One of these is called the Rule of Law, which contains five points that make a law just: generality, prospectivity, consent, publicity, and due process. We are tested on our ability to apply these ideas in real world situations. I had an epiphany today on how the Rule of Law has an application in my life. There is a rule amongst our roommates where we have to buy ice cream for everyone every time we kiss a new guy. Three of us have never kissed a guy before, so the other three decided that we have to buy two gallons of ice cream for our first kiss. This rule is targeted at a specific group of people (the non-kissed, violating generalization), and they did not give their consent. The non-kissed have decided to not abide by this rule... and possibly not even tell the kissed when they become kissed. I think we're completely justified >:) Moral of the story: use knowledge for your personal benefit.

We have to do interviews for a paper in anthropology. I already did mine, so when our professor said he was going to give us an example, I wasn't going to pay all that much attention. Unfortunately, he selected me and two guys to come up to the front of a big lecture hall via laser pointer. I almost never get picked out of the class to come up to the front (I think it's because I never say anything in class or sit in a seat likely to be called on), so it was quite strange that he happened to pick me. He asked us several questions about what we thought of the young and restless. Fortunately, I've been in theatre, so I know how to handle myself "on stage." It was still awkward, especially when I zoned out at the last question, so I had him repeat it. Moral of the story: don't attract laser pointers.

Men...

I had an interview with my bishop today, just for him to see how I was doing. I don't like those kinds of interviews very much because I never have anything to say and it's usually a bit awkward. This time it wasn't, though. He asked me about my family and any worries that I have. I told him about how it's a little depressing that all my roommates have an interest (one that's interested in them back, anyway) and I don't. Plus, I haven't been asked on any dates since I've been in college, which seems like quite the anomaly. I felt kind of foolish saying that, since you shouldn't be worrying about your relationship status or how many dates you've been on, but he told me it was okay. It's natural to worry about those things, so I shouldn't be ashamed that I'm feeling this way. He told me that they've been trying to get the guys to ask girls on dates more, but so many of them don't see a point when they have less than a year until their missions. It's lame.

Since I've been thinking a lot about marriage lately, here is what I want in a husband:
- Good looking (I think it's pretty normal to want to be attracted to the guy you're going to be with forever)
- Good teeth (They're important... they needed their own bullet point)
- Makes me laugh
- A best friend
- A good listener and talker (I want to be able to have lots of meaningful conversations with him)
- Someone I can do lots of fun stuff with... like working out :P
- Chivalrous
- Hard-worker
- Good with kids
- Someone who's going to take care of me
- RM (unless he's a convert, was inactive, or something like that)
- Worthy Priesthood holder
- Strong testimony

Don't worry. I don't want to get married for another two years-ish... but it doesn't hurt to think about it, especially when you should date the kind of guy you want to marry.

Trials

I've never blogged before... so this should be interesting.

My main goal for this blog is for it to be encouraging to others. I don't want it to be all about me and how completely awesome I am. I want it to be stories from my life or new understandings of the world that can help other people with their problems or see them in a new light. I suppose that does mean it will be focused on me, but I hope that it will be a kind of focus that allows others to gain a better perspective on their own lives. Since my roommates will probably be the only ones actively reading my blog, it might just serve as a better understanding of me, and I guess that's okay, too.

I'm one of those people that likes to quote movies in everyday speech, so I'm going to quote one of my favorites. "The night is darkest just before the dawn" (The Dark Knight). This goes along with my overall theme of enduring to the end. We all have our challenges that sometimes seem like they are more than we can bear. It's important to remember that it will get better. It's going to get harder before it gets easier, but it will get easier.

Leaving to come to college scared me... a lot. I'm not very good with change, nor am I very good with completely new experiences where I am on my own. I had a breakdown a couple days before my mom left after dropping me off. At that point, I didn't know how I was going to make it through college. I remembered the blessing my dad gave me before I left and I prayed for strength. I decided to gather my courage and put my fear behind me. It was hard at first, like most things, but it quickly got better. My roommates have turned out to be really good friends. My classes aren't as ridiculously hard as my high school teachers made them out to be. It has been really nice having my sister live just five minutes away and some of my extended family about a half hour away. The Lord has blessed me tremendously and I am very grateful.

I've noticed that it is really easy to look back on trials and realize how insignificant they were, but while going through them, they're hard and can completely consume your thoughts. I'm currently stuck in the rut of being single, which is supposedly more fun. I'm pretty sure that's not true when everyone's looking to be with someone, but I wouldn't know since I never have. It's not because I haven't been looking. I just have never been able to get something to work out with someone, unfortunately. It's been trying (probably why they call it a trial) and so incredibly hard to be positive about it all the time, but I know that eventually, it's going to happen and it will be great. I just need to be patient. Sister Oaks, the "poster girl for the singles ward," shared in a fireside that she had a blessing in which she was told if she could not handle the single life, she would never be able to handle the married life. At the time, I wasn't feeling as down about being single as I am now, but remembering these words has given me comfort.

The Lord will never turn His back on us; we're the ones who turn our backs on Him. Trials are designed to make us stronger and help us learn to rely on Him. I think of trials like I think of drawing. I would be terrible at it if I had never been pushed and if I had not responded with doing my best. He just wants us to do our best. That's my goal for life... I think it's a pretty good one :)