Hypocrites, Change, and Understanding

I'm frustrated with people. Everyone is always looking out for number one and not really caring about all those around them. They think differently than you, which means they are automatically right. They may hear your side, but they don't listen. They don't try to understand or change.

I'm frustrated with myself. I'm starting to realize that as much as I try not to be self-centered and be accommodating towards others, I do the opposite. I get annoyed with people doing things similar to what I tend to do. I look out for number one and think about my problems all the time. I find it annoying if someone is complaining about a situation that I have had way more problems with in the past. Yet, if something's troubling me a great deal, everyone must know about it.

Then there's other stuff that people refuse to understand. They don't get that I have trouble with certain social situations, since I seem pretty normal. I'm ridiculously slow at doing basic tasks, and I just can't hurry. I'm almost always late. I often come off like I don't care, but that's just so I don't get sick from the anxiety of not being ready on time. I need to know about things in advance so I can prepare for them. It's hard for me to change up what I think my schedule is going to be like because of what someone else needs me to do. This is likely to all be caused by autism, but I've never been diagnosed and its relatively mild. However, this has caused me many problems, and I wish all of these things were easy for me, but they're not. It would be nice to just have a little understanding from others, since I can't always help it.

But how understanding am I of others? I often view others' feelings in relation to mine. I think that, since everyone loves to tease me because of my oddities and my general good-naturedness towards being the butt of a joke, everyone should be able to take jokes like I do, especially the ones who dish them out towards me. However, not everyone can, which irritates me at times, often because I am then the only one that is made fun of in the situation and then others following it. Many people get angry easily, and I find this annoying. I wouldn't get angry in their position, so why should they get angry?

Everyone is a hypocrite. We all need to change and be more understanding. That's what we're all seeking from each other, so we must start with ourselves. I just hope I can start seeing this change more in others and show it more in myself.